Distractive Behavior

And on it goes - two weeks without smoking, and so far so good. It's getting to be a little anti-climactic, actually. I'm starting to wonder if I'll have much more content for this little blog o' mine. It seems like the trick is to not buy weed, and then hang on for the first few days or so until the "withdrawal" symptoms subside.

So it is getting easier, although now I realize how much my smoking was part of my daily routine. I used to get up early, get out of the house, and get on the way to work. The sooner I did that, you see, the sooner I could smoke, and the more time I would have to "air out*" before the coworkers started showing up. I've got a low-grade case of paranoia on my good days, so when smoking I really went out of my way to hide any signs of my hobby. If I got to work early enough, I'd even have time to make coffee and/or rub dry grounds on my hands a little (did you know that the smell of coffee is sort of a natural olfactory reset? do a search for "coffee" on this page).

Now I find myself at a bit of a loss. There's no real motivation to get going ASAP in the morning, and a few other activities seem to be "missing something". In short, I think I'm just plain bored.

I haven't really felt like doing anything very active beyond the usual household chores, though I am hopeful this will change over time. I feel like I want to sleep more, but I'm not sure if that's a side-effect of my usual depressive tendencies or the depressive tendencies that come from kicking the habit (most likely a little of "column A" and "column B").

I do feel a little more wound-up than usual - I keep catching myself bouncing my leg at work, twisting at loose threads, etc. To keep from doing said behaviors at home I usually end up playing video games, which engage the senses and keep my hands busy. With any luck I'll be able to channel the restlessness or whatever it is and finally get my home office cleaned up (not bloody likely). I imagine my wife is wondering how much Bejeweled one person can play. If/when she mentions the game habit, I must remember not to shout, "I quit weed - what the f--k else do you want me to do?!?!" Whew - after all that rambling, I found a reach-able goal...


* or as I liked to call it "begin my de-scent" ha-ha-ha...